Hate. Pure hate.

Despite Sean's having saved the studio from total destruction, I still am quite angry with him. He did threaten to, and in fact he very nearly did, abandon us. After everything we've done for him, that takes some nerve. And too, I have a troubled home life and therefore I come to work looking to vent my spleen on any unfortunates who venture near. And he ventures very near. Can I tell you? Can I say this? His violation of my personal space, his sheer proximal indecency, is an outrage to civil society. And, yes, I hate him with every burning fiber of my raging gargoyle heart.

So, what I'm leading up to here, is I took his spaghetti out of the fridge and threw it at the wall behind his desk. I figured he was too idiotic to guess the culprit, but I discovered my mistake when he approached my cubicle and said, "So, I suppose you want me to believe Oscar Madison did that?"

"He did," I said, hoping to fake him out. "I saw him."

"Oscar Madison is a character in a movie, dummy. Played by Walter Matthau. Actually he was a character in a play first, then he was a character in a movie. Actually, most recently he was a character on a TV series played by Jack Klugman. It lasted for five years, I think. Interestingly, Mickey Rooney was considered for the role, and Martin Balsam..."

In case you're wondering, because I know you are, this represents his usual style of discourse. Like I said, he's an idiot.